From Self-Abandonment to Deep Connection - How I Finally Stopped Shrinking Myself to Keep the Peace

 

I spent years proving my worth through over-giving and self-sacrifice - until I realised I was abandoning myself in the process.

I know what it’s like to filter yourself in relationships.
To say “I’m fine” when you’re not.
To hold back your truth because you’re afraid of losing connection.

For years, I believed that being agreeable, accommodating, and selfless would make me feel loved. Instead, it left me exhausted, unseen, and disconnected—from others and myself.

I wasn’t afraid of conflict.
I was afraid of being abandoned if I showed up as my full self.

I See You, Because I Was You.

I built my life around making others comfortable.

I was the dependable one.

The one who gave endlessly.

The one who silenced my own needs so no one else would feel uncomfortable.

I spent years pushing through, believing that if I was successful enough, helpful enough, or easy-going enough, I would finally feel whole.

But despite reaching every milestone, the emptiness remained.

Until I realised something profound:
I wasn’t exhausted because I was doing too much.
I was exhausted because I kept abandoning myself to keep the peace.

The Breaking Point That Led to My Healing

I started my career as a nurse specialising in neuro critical care, supporting people through some of their most vulnerable moments.

Later, I became a Specialist Community Public Health Nurse, earned an MSc in Medical and Health Care Education, and took on leadership roles in health education.

I was accomplished. Respected. Yet - I was running on empty.

I was also a mother, a wife, and a relentless giver. I poured my energy into everyone else, believing that my worth was measured by how much I could do for others.

But in the process, I lost myself.

Then came the diagnosis - CPTSD and a chronic health condition.

That was my wake-up call. My body was screaming for my attention, and I finally listened.

I realised that my perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overachieving weren’t personality traits - they were survival strategies. I wasn’t just struggling with burnout; I was stuck in a lifelong pattern of self-abandonment.

And I knew I had to break free.

The Turning Point: Learning to Stay True to Myself

Healing wasn’t about fixing myself. It was about reclaiming the parts of me I had been taught to suppress.

It meant unlearning the belief that:
- Setting boundaries makes you “being difficult”
- Expressing your needs means 'you’re “demanding”
- Staying small is the price of being loved

Through inner child healing, breathwork, nervous system regulation, and deep self-inquiry, I learned to:
- Trust my voice without over-explaining
- Set boundaries without guilt
- Be fully myself in relationships - without the fear of losing love

This journey changed everything - not just for me, but for my relationships, my work, and the way I move through life.

And now, I help women like you do the same.

My Approach: Ending the Cycle of Self-Abandonment

With a unique background in child development, trauma-informed coaching, and holistic healing, I bridge the gap between traditional healthcare and deep emotional transformation.

I combine:
Compassionate Inquiry – Unraveling the subconscious patterns keeping you stuck in self-abandonment.
Breathwork & Somatic Healing – Releasing the emotional weight of constantly filtering yourself.
Self-Mastery & Integration – Shifting from survival to deep, authentic connection.

This is not about becoming a “better” version of yourself.
It’s about reclaiming the real you - the one you’ve been hiding from for so long.

““When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives””
— Kristin Neff

Are You Ready to Stop Abandoning Yourself?

If you’re tired of:
- Holding back your truth in relationships
- Feeling unseen - even by those who “love” you
- Over-giving but struggling to receive
- Replaying conversations, wondering if you were too much

Then you’re in the right place.

Together, we’ll unlearn the patterns that keep you small and create relationships where you are fully seen, fully valued, and deeply connected.

Ways to Work With Me

You don’t have to keep betraying yourself to keep love.
It’s time to come home to yourself.

With courage, compassion and authenticity, anything is possible.

With all my love and gratitude

Claryn xxx


Professional Qualifications and Education

Certified Breathwork Practitioner 800-Hours - Alchemy of Breath (2024)

Sound Healing Practitioner - IPHM Accredited Training (2024)

Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training (2022)

Certified Women’s Coach - One of many™ (2020)

Registered Yoga Teacher 350-Hours - Hatha, Yin, Restorative (2019), Yoga Nidra (2021) and Myo Yin (2023)

Health Coach - Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) (2017)

Specialist Community Public Health Nurse (Health Visitor) (BA Honours) (2006)

Registered Nurse (1995)

Registered Nurse Teacher (2015)

MSc Medical and Healthcare Education (2015)