From Self-Abandonment to Deep Connection - How I Stopped Shrinking Myself to Keep the Peace - and Came Home to Who I Really Am

 

I spent years proving my worth through over-giving and self-sacrifice - until I realised I was abandoning myself in the process.

I know what it’s like to filter yourself in relationships.
To say “I’m fine” when you’re not.
To silence your truth because you’re afraid of being too much—or not enough.

For so long, I believed that being agreeable, selfless, and easy to love would keep me safe. But instead, it left me exhausted, and unseen—even in my closest relationships

I wasn’t afraid of conflict.
I was afraid of being abandoned if I showed up as my full self.

I See You, Because I Was You.

I built my life around making others comfortable.

I was the dependable one.

The over -giver.

The peacekeeper who made space for everyone else’s needs but my own.

No matter how much I achieved, it never felt like enough. Because underneath all the doing was a deep fear:

If I stopped over-giving, would anyone still stay?

Until I realised:
I wasn’t exhausted because I was doing too much.
I was exhausted because I kept abandoning myself to avoid discomfort.

The Breaking Point That Led to My Healing

I started my career in neuro critical care nursing—supporting people through some of their most vulnerable moments.

I later trained as a Specialist Community Public Health Nurse, earned an MSc in Medical and Health Care Education, and took on leadership roles in health education.

I was accomplished. Respected. But privately, I was running on empty.

I was also a mother. A wife. A relentless giver. And like so many women, I measured my worth by how much I could carry.

Then came the diagnosis: CPTSD and a chronic health condition.

That was the rupture that became my turning point.

My body was screaming for my attention, and I finally listened.

That’s when I saw clearly:

My perfectionism, people-pleasing, and overachieving weren’t personality traits.

They were survival strategies.

The Turning Point: Learning to Stay True to Myself

Healing didn’t come from pushing harder.

It came from turning inward—with compassion, not control.

It unlearnt the belief that:
- Setting boundaries makes you difficult
- Expressing your needs makes you demanding
- Staying small is the price of being loved

Through inner child healing, breathwork, nervous system work, and somatic enquiry, I learned to:
- Trust my voice without shrinking it
- Set boundaries without guilt
- Be fully myself in relationships - without the fear of losing love

This journey changed everything - not just for me, but how I relate, lead and live.

And now, I help women like you do the same.

My Approach: Ending the Cycle of Self-Abandonment

With 30 years of experience in healthcare, trauma-informed coaching, and holistic healing, I bridge the worlds of science, soul and somatics.

I combine:
Compassionate Inquiry – To gently unravel the root patterns behind self-abandonment.
Breathwork & Somatic Healing – To release the emotional weight of over-functioning
Self-Mastery & Integration – To rebuild trust with your inner authority

This is not about becoming more empowered.
It’s about becoming more you.

““When we give ourselves compassion, we are opening our hearts in a way that can transform our lives””
— Kristin Neff

Are You Ready to Stop Abandoning Yourself?

If you’re tired of:
- Filtering your truth in relationships
- Feeling unseen - even by those who say they love you
- Giving endlessly, but struggling to receive
- Replaying conversations, wondering if you were too much

You’re not alone. And you’re not too much.

Together, we’ll break the cycle of self-abandonment and build relationships where you feel safe, seen and deeply valued.

Ways to Work With Me

You don’t have to keep betraying yourself to be loved.
It’s time to come home to yourself.

With courage, compassion and authenticity, anything is possible.

With love, presence and quiet power

Claryn

Professional Qualifications and Education

Certified Breathwork Practitioner 800-Hours - Alchemy of Breath (2024)

Sound Healing Practitioner - IPHM Accredited Training (2024)

Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training (2022)

Certified Women’s Coach - One of many™ (2020)

Registered Yoga Teacher 350-Hours - Hatha, Yin, Restorative (2019), Yoga Nidra (2021) and Myo Yin (2023)

Health Coach - Institute for Integrative Nutrition (IIN) (2017)

Specialist Community Public Health Nurse (Health Visitor) (BA Honours) (2006)

Registered Nurse (1995)

Registered Nurse Teacher (2015)

MSc Medical and Healthcare Education (2015)